Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize