I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
