I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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