I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
