We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
