Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize