I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
