I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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