so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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