Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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