hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
