i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
