I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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