Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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