i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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