I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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