You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
