We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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