How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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