This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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