I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
