I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
