I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
