Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
