I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
