Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
