if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
