my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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