How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
