6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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