take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize