Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
