Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
