Just mADE A PArabola og urine
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
