This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
