Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
