Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
