hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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