What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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