508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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