guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
did you just send me my own nude
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
