We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
