i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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