69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
