He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
