Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more

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(810): View more from Michigan

Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.

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(425): View more from Washington

Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.

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(845): View more from New York

I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.

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