Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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