Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize