Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We need to rekindle our bromance
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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