Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
