oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
