weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
