I cockslap morals
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize