Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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