No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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