I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
