Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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