my being single is dangerous.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
