I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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