Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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