"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
