How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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